Our last stop was Hoi An, a small, quint tailoring town by the sea. There are over 200 tailors in Hoi An and the price of a best-material, made-to-measure garment is so low you'd have to have a stitch loose not to get something made. I'm not the clothes buying type (frankly it gives me the shivers) but even I somehow ended up with a Tux, 3 shirts, a detective coat and- the gild on the lily- a tweed jacket. On top of my new threads I also picked up a nasty virus and, when I subsequently decided to return home early from the bar, spent a rather nasty night wandering around a pitch black Hoi An in a feverish delirium wondering were the heck my hotel was. This ordeal included a panicked moneyless quest for water as Nationwide decided to suddenly cut my debit card off and a 'thrilling' chase by rabid (or maybe very libidinous) dogs.
I write to you now from the historic town of Hue (Hue-ey) where I've spend a nice day wandering the ruins of an old dynastic castle and looking at tanks captured from Vietnamese puppet soldiers during the War. Tomorrow will be another day of fun frolicking around the 'Hue area' (with possible tombs if I can convince Justin, who for some unfathomable reason finds tombs boring) followed by a night of cruel toil on the 14 hour bus journey to the capital. I wonder if my excessive new wardrobe will fit on the bus...
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In the Star Wars comedy I'm scripting, without a hope in Hoth of it getting made due to the horrendous licensing issues, the second episode of series 2 is called "A Sith in Time!", being as it is about Darth Vader having to get a new suit after his only clean one is accidently bleached white in the wash*. The idea is my audience would have forgotten the sith-com marketing tags that were inevitably prevalent at the start of the first series or they will be so saturated with mind-bypassing puns that it won't make enough impact on their mental processes for a link to be able to develop.
*As with all good sitcoms, the plot is only thus as a basis for the character-led comedy to revolve.
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